My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
