You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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