Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
