Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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