You're so nebulous sometimes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
