Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Michael Bay diarrhea
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
