i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
