do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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