For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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