i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
