I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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