Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
