I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
