I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
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