We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
