what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
