he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
