i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
