that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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