Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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