So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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