Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am available for nakedness
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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