it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you never un-have a 4some
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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