did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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