Welp...herpes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
