letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
