Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I looked at my own cervix.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
