My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
