It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
