I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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