I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
