I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
