can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
