The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
