sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
