how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I had to cum in my sink.
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