You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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