I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
