I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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