Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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