His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
