walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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