She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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