.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
