you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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