There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
