i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
