After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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