Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
