Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
